Being a pastor’s wife

One of the blogs that I regularly read is Perry Noble from Newspring Church in Anderson, SC. One because it has some great information about how they do things in a church that is reaching thousands for Jesus and second because he is just plain funny. Last week he posted that he was going to have his wife, Lucretia, answer some questions and do a guest post on his blog. Here are a couple that she answered that had to do with being a pastor’s wife. Some good insight. I especially like the one about the expectations on a pastor’s wife. I think for me some of those are self inflicted expectations and some are from others but either way it is always refreshing to here that my number one ministry is to my husband and our children. As pastor’s wives we have a unique responsibility to our families – lets be faithful to them and to God.

How do you balance your role as Perry’s wife with the expectations the church has of you as a pastor’s wife? Just as Perry doesn’t fit the mold for the typical preacher, the same seems to be true of you and your involvement in NewSpring and it’s ministries?

Before we began dating I dealt with the fact that I didn’t fit the role of the typical pastors wife that I had always known; however, in seeking Jesus He clearly showed me that my call was not to fit a particular mold…but to just be me and Perry’s wife.

When it comes down to it…I am the ONLY person who can support Perry in the way that I do…and he has made it very clear to the church from the beginning that I am his wife–not the churches wife, and he has always refused to allow unrealistic expectations to be placed upon me by those who could never understand what it is like to be in my shoes.

Bottom line–Perry IS my ministry…and as his wife I am called to encourage and support him first…NOT be involved in tons of activities to merely keep church people happy.

I fear that too many pastors wives focus on the churches calling on their lives rather than what God has called them to do. I know that He has called me to be unique…and while I won’t be singing or playing piano any time soon because those are not my talents and abilities…I will be faithful to Him and His calling and giftedness on my life.

How do you deal with the criticism that comes Perry’s way?

My initial reaction is to debate “them” and logically explain to them why they are wrong; however, I know that will not work–it is equal to casting pearls before the pigs. It does hurt me when this happens, but ultimately I leave it in God’s hands because I know that the critics do not know Perry, nor do they understand what is going on at NewSpring. AND I try to see it in a positive light because usually the time of most criticism is usually preceding something incredible.

Happy Bday to Drew??

Today I did what everybody in Galax does at least twice a week. I went to Walmart! Emma and Luke had swim practice so Mike took them to the rec center (by the way – a shout out to Mike – he has been going and working out while they swim) . So I took advantage of having only one child to drag through the grocery store and did some shopping. For some reason, I have no idea why, Drew decided that it was his birthday tomorrow. His birthday is in APRIL!! Here is how my shopping trip went

Drew : Mommy, me need to get tuff for mine party
Me: What party?
Drew: Mine birthday party in the morning
Me: Drew, it’s not your birthday tomorrow
Drew: Yes it is
Me: Your birthday is in April
Drew: In da morning is April

I decide to ignore him now because you really can’t reason with a 3 year old who has decided that tomorrow is his birthday. Surprisingly, we didn’t have any breakdowns or tantrums when we didn’t buy cupcakes or Pirates of the Caribbean plates and napkins. I did buy a box of Pirates of the Caribbean gummy snacks and he said “dat be great for mine party” I just laughed and kept pushing my buggy through Walmart.
I began thinking about how outrageous it was for him to suddenly jump forward 6 months on the calendar and plan a birthday party that wasn’t going to happen. If I would have gotten a pack of birthday plates and napkins and a dozen cupcakes and we would have had a “party” for him instead of waiting until April for his real 4 year old party that would have been stupid. Letting a 3 year old set the date and plans would be a disaster. Isn’t that so much like us as Christ followers. We get our feeble plans ready and tell God what we are going to do. Like Drew we throw a few things together and call it a party because we want it now and we want it our way. I love throwing bday parties for my kids and I know that Drew’s party in April will be a lot better than a pack of birthday plates and generic cup cakes from Walmart. I can also guarantee that what God has planned for us is way better than anything we can come up with. I am going to stop settling for the Walmart cupcakes and get ready for the big party. That’s a lot harder said than done for a control freak like me. I am a slow learner but God is teaching me that I have to expect big things from Him and trust Him to follow through and not take things into my own hands because I don’t think He is doing it fast enough or in the right way. Doing it my way shows how incapable I am but when God does something only He can do -it brings all the glory to Him – so I’ll take His way. God is who He says He is – God can do what He says He can do – I’m believing God!


Things I am excited about . . . .
Fall – you may think what? I thought you loved summer but I do like the cool air and beauty of the leaves this time of year and we are going on a few field trips taking the kids to Maybry Mill for Fall Days on Friday and to the Orchard and Pumpkin Patch in a couple of weeks

School – I love new books and getting organized and hopefully this will be a good full week of school since we have settled down from vacation

Teenagers – I can see that God is getting ready to do some awesome things at Cornerstone and I am thankful to be a part of it. We are talking about what to do as we run out of space here at our house – we want to think ahead and not limit what God is doing because we don’t have a place to meet

A Baby Shower – We are having a baby shower for Boni and Baby John on Saturday! I love babies – he is soooooo sweet!

Catalyst – Mike and I are heading to Atlanta Oct 3-5. I am looking forward to hearing some great speakers but really looking forward to the awesome worship time. I am also planning on practicing my spiritual gift of shopping at Lenox Square – they have a Crate and Barrell and even Mike will be happy there because there is an Apple store. Seriously – I am excited most of all for the chance to hear from God and seek His direction.

24– Hi I’m Jennifer and I am a 24 addict. Mike and I are watching the first season on DVD and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Our new Cornerstone Kids – we have some really cool stuff coming for Cornerstone kids – starting October 14th

Things I am not excited about . . .
Football – Mike is watching football and I just don’t get it

Winter – it’s cold and I just don’t get that either. Cornerstone Youth ya’ll are going to have do some serious sweet talking to get me to plan a ski trip – I think hell will be a lot like skiing – except it’ll be hot – that makes no sense but I hate being cold!

School – This was in my excited about list too – but if you know me or if you homeschool you will know how school can be hard to get done each day – especially around Christmas time.

Organizing my mess – I thought all summer that I was going to get organized and it is fall and I am STILL NOT getting it together. I guess when you have 3 little ones you never get it together.

Getting back to the real world – It is time for me to leave the make believe land of blogging and go put up laundry – I am really not very excited about laundry!!!

24 Date with my hubby

Today has been a great day. The kids played soccer this morning and it has been beautiful today. I should be putting away laundry but Mike and I have started watching the first season of 24. He got me the DVDs for my birthday (in May) and we are just know getting around to taking the cellophane off them. We were hooked last season and wanted to go back and watch the others. Gotta go find out what happens between 1am and 2am (imagine Keiffer saying that).

Potty Training

When I posted on Potty Training yesterday I forgot to mention something that really does work. I waited until training my 3rd child to try this and wished I had known about earlier. I bought and read the book Toilet training in less than a day and gave it a try and it worked! Drew had just turned 3 and I really wanted to get him pottying by the summer so on Memorial Day when Mike was off from work he took Emma and Luke for the morning and Drew and I practiced pottying. You really just have to read through the book to get the whole idea- it’s not long and easy reading. Skip over, or read and get a chuckle from, the illustrations used in the book. They are really dated and funny. Just thought it was worth sharing something that works. It takes 3 or 4 hours of your undivided attention but it’s better than weeks of frustration.

A new kind of communication

I was reading a blog by a mom today about potty training and I commented on her blog about how much I hated potty training. I just think it is a major pain. It is nice when your kids finally get the hang of it but getting there is no fun. It reminded me of something I saw briefly last week about infant potty training. I went back and found the article on MSNBC and read it. If you haven’t heard about it you have to read this. I followed a link from the article to a website that promotes what they call Elimination Communication (it cracks me up just to type that). I don’t know if it was because I have had a long day and get really giggly when I am tired or if these people are really that crazy but I laughed out loud at this website. I have to admit that some of the pictures of these little babies being held over potties are really cute but I am reading this and thinking, “Are they serious”? They promote a no diaper baby. Basically, you begin potty training at birth and your baby doesn’t wear diapers and as the parent you learn to be in tune with your baby and his/her Elimination Communication.
Here is a quote from that article . . .

“She says finding a supportive daycare center is the biggest challenge for
parents who choose not to use diapers. Other problems include finding tiny
underwear for diaper-free infants.
Isis Arnesen, 33, of Boston, has a
14-week-old daughter, Lucia, who is diaper-free. She said it can be awkward to
explain the process to people, such as when she helped Lucia relieve herself in
a sink at a public restroom.
“Sometimes I don’t know what’s gonna happen and
it doesn’t work, and sometimes I feel a little embarrassed,” Arnesen said. “It
makes her happy though, right? She smiles, she’s happy.”

Doesn’t that just crack you up! Can’t you see a 3 month old baby in little undies and being held over the sink at WalMart. I don’t want to seem judgemental, I am sure that moms that try diaper free babies love their babies as much as I love my kids. So don’t send me any negative comments. Here is another quote from the diaper free baby site. This was under the heading 75 reasons to practice EC

“. Conventional toilet training starts with learning to “hold it” while EC
starts with learning to “let go.” This can make a big difference in a baby’s
perception of elimination and of life in general.”

OK potty training is on thing – but a whole new perspective on life?

I would have to agree that the improvement of diapers and the pull ups has very much delayed the potty training age and it can be done at a much earlier age. With each of my 3 kids the potty training age was later. I was busier with each one and pull ups are easy. But I really don’t think they will have trouble “letting go” or have any resentment toward me for making them wear diapers. Recognizing that other cultures who do not have diapers use this method really doesn’t make much of an argument. The reason they don’t use diapers is because they don’t have them!

Just one more quote

“EC leads to happy babies and happy parents because: A diaperless baby smells

That’s not always true you can ask my friend Boni.
She has a brand new baby boy and she was changing his diaper today and if you have boys you know if the diaper is off for more than a few seconds somebody is going to get a shower! Boni bent down to put his diaper back on and John peed up her nose! Now – how is that for Elimination Communication!

Some cool links

We love being in Isle of Palms!

On Sunday we had a great visit at  Seacoast Church. We love visiting churches when we are on vacation, partly because it is vacation and it nice to just go to church and not have to think about all the things that need to be done and because we like to get ideas for how we can do things at Cornerstone and most importantly we heard a great message from Pastor Surratt about wisdom from Proverbs.    We even checked all 3 kids into the kids programs and they loved it.  The check in process worked well and even Drew (he’s 31/2) didn’t even hesitate going somewhere new.  Why would he – his kids area looked cooler than Chuck E Cheese.  That evening they had an ocean baptism close to where we are staying so we walked down the beach and watched.  It was a beautiful service.  
After church we headed over to the Town Center in Mt. Pleasant to shop and have lunch.  I had to find swim stuff for my kids because I left a bag at home that had all there swim suits in it.  It’s good that it is the end of the season and I got what they needed on a big sale.   
We ate great burgers and fries at Five Guys
My sister Sara had arranged for us to have pictures made on the beach.  Tammy Bevins Photography did a great job.  They actually made having our pictures made fun!  That means a lot when you are trying to get 5 kids to cooperate.
Last night we ate some good seafood at the Charleston Crab House in Mt Pleasant.  It was good but not the best and a little overpriced.   
Of course we have also hit Ben and Jerry’s and Starbucks
Looks like a little rain in the forecast so we may have to head to the new Tanger outlet
Time to hit the beach – my favorite thing to do here!


We are at the BEACH.  If you know much about me you know that I LOVE the beach.  We are in Isle of Palms SC for the week.  It is a beautiful place.  We really like it here.  The weather has been great and the kids are having a ball.  We have gotten to spend some time with my little sister who lives in North Charleston.   Emma, Luke and Drew have loved playing with their cousins.  I hope to post some pics soon.   

Labor Day Thoughts

I can’t believe it’s this close to the end of summer. I have to admit,even though I am a HUGE fan of summer, it has been nice to have some cool nights for the last few days. We had a nice day with our friends Fred and Stephanie and their girls. We cooked hamburgers, played badmitton and horseshoes all of the normal Labor Day stuff. Thanks guys for the good food and laughs. Labor day makes me think of lots of things

  • labor – you can never think of the word labor in the same way after you have had a baby. Emma actually came home from the hospital on labor day – nine years ago!!! My little girl will be 9 in a couple of days.
  • THE BEACH- we always go to the beach for a week after labor day with my mom and dad. Since we home school we don’t have to worry about getting the kids out of school and the rates really drop so it’s cheaper and not as crowded. This year we are going to Isle of Palms, SC (probably my favorite beach – even though I love them all). We also get to see my sis and her family because they live close by in Charleston!!! The kids are SOOOO excited to play with their cousins.
  • School – I have very mixed feelings about this one – I hate the end to the freedom of summer – no bedtime, no schedule but at the same time I do crave the organization and schedule that comes with getting back into the swing of school. I also LOVE getting all our books for school. I got 3 boxes of books last week and it was like Christmas! Now I just have to get it all organized and ready to jump into when we get back from the beach.
  • The end of summer – Like I said before I do love summer and dread the cold winter ahead but fall is beautiful in our part of the state. I look forward to riding bikes with my hubby on the trail. Even thought I am not a huge football fan Mike is so I do like cuddling up with him on the couch to watch some Hokie football and of course God is a Hokie beacuse the leave turn Maroon and Orange this time of year!

That’s about all my brain can handle tonight I am ready for some sleep!